Through the Stanford Youth Environmental Science Program (now called Quest Scholars, “a mentorship and leadership-training program for exceptionally bright, low income and underserved students with an interest in higher education, leadership, and professional careers”), Santiago received full financial aid to Stanford. Quest was founded by Ana Rowena and Dr. Michael McCullough (photographed below smiling in the stadium during graduation). Michael and Ana are also in the last photos below with His Holiness, The Dalai Lama, and Santiago.
Were you nervous going to Stanford?
Like many of the incoming students from all across the world I am almost certain they felt much like I did – I was excited. But, I also didn’t feel like I fit in and was in a constant state of anxiety and wasn’t aware at the time. I was always in the past or future. It wasn’t really until my junior year after I read the book, “The Power of NOW” by Eckhart Tolle and began meditating that I started to feel a shift. Meditation helped me find another space of power and safety within me. I woke up for the first time, regenerated, refocused, and felt more restored. I graduated with a 3.55 GPA with my best grades in my last two years. School is the way out, I urge every kid, no matter where you are with your studies or skill level, do not quit. Education is a form of freedom that no one will ever be able to take away from you. You can break through.
What Was Your Favorite Class And Why?
Introduction to Psychology with Dr. Phil Zimbardo. I remember the social psychology experiments he shared with us that inspired me to challenge and put myself in other people’s shoes to better understand humanity. His Stanford Prison Experiment taught me how all of us have the capacity to demonize one another depending on the role we are in. Studies like the Milgram Experiment on obedience inspired me to stand in my truth and obey my heart. I later learned that Zimbardo had his own journey of struggle growing up in the Bronx and was the first in his family to graduate from high school.
What was so different about Stanford?
It had big palm trees and beautiful buildings — it was so clean, you could tell people came together to take care of it and build on the future it represented. Everyone was so happy and nice. I couldn’t understand it at the time. I’m laughing right now. But it’s true. Besides Tim, Stanford was one of the very best examples of integrity. They encouraged your success, they debated and challenged but they also listened to your voice. This was a next new experience beyond Tim. It was like a safe haven — there was no violence or conflict. It was a strange feeling for me; as I’m sure it was for many of the other students that arrived there literally by the hand of God. The world can be a dangerous place and like many others, I would like to change that. Hope, integrity, encouragement, support and belief in that bigger and better future changes outcomes. But like everything else – it was going to take effort; and still I almost blew that.
Did you ever feel like quitting?
I came into Stanford thinking I would be a politician or lawyer but my world shifted after I got suspended my sophomore year and rightly so. I spent that time in LA studying acting, reading scripts, and cleared my head. “God” can be slow, but never late. I returned a different person.
All the times I have wanted to give up have been exactly when I felt the most uncomfortable in my pain. It would manifest as aggression, agitation, discomfort, frustration, but underneath that was core pain. I am a firm believer that going into the discomfort, stripping away everything that covers it up, is the solution. If we remember to sit in the frustration long enough without acting, then the pain will rise and tears will release. The release is the healing process but for a long time, I didn’t trust it would end so I self-sabotaged. One of the main messages of Quest is to “Trust Your Struggle”. I do not give up and keep growing and improving.
What Class Did You Really Not Like?
Probably my freshman year, introduction to humanities. I wasn’t ready for philosophy. I still needed to process my own shadows before learning what others thought about bringing more light to humanity. I’m sure they made some major contribution in their Quest, but I just wasn’t ready yet for those classes. Perhaps this is why psychology courses were my favorite — it helped me gain a bigger view and understanding of myself, my gifts, my purpose and a deeper yearning dream that was emerging.
What was driving you to succeed — given everything you’ve been through?
My pain. I’m someone who responds to adversity with the force of love, redemption, power and determination. And, that adversity comes with a healthy does of pain. I became a nerd in my early 20s… I just worked harder than anyone else because it was my way of coping. I was covering up deeper emotions that still needed to be released. It wasn’t until I stripped myself of that warm blanket that I went back into my cold shadows. Making Quest really helped me walk into the sunlight again. Now, I know there is an abundance of light and I keep pushing to get my movie out because I want to share that with the world.
How Were You Able To Overcome Such Tremendous Odds; To Qualify To Go To Stanford?
Tim helped me a lot. And, growing up in Berkeley and roaming the college campus, I learned at a young age that I wanted to be one of those college students. So, I always focused on getting good grades and trying to get into a college. School is the way out. I knew that all along. And school was safe to me.
What Did Stanford Give You?
Gave me confidence and helped me value myself more. I learned that I am capable of applying my intense energy toward anything I put my mind to and can succeed. Everything is energy. Some of the kids with the most trauma and struggle have the most intense energy. If we can teach them how to channel and focus that in a positive direction, we would have a much safer and just world.
